Its been a while since I took Japanese at Columbia. I definitely look back on this blog fondly and remember some of the experiences that coincided with the times during which I studied. I read stories by Tsushima, silent traders and shooting gallery today. Both deal with mothers who struggle with raising children into the world without the support of their fathers. This kind of pain is entirely foreign to me. In fact, i would say that i am on the other end of the spectrum, feeling that my father was too involved and controlling in the process of me growing up. However, I could definitely empathize with the feelings that were portrayed in the story.

I've been feeling kinda troubled these days because I feel that I am living off the fruits of yesterday's labor. Kind of like the short story I read as a kid where the grasshopper laughed at the ants for working hard to store food for the upcoming winter. Due to this dreaded feeling, I had a sudden burst of motivation and today I sat at the library and read through my assigned readings thoroughly, instead of skimming through them as fast as I could, which is what I have been doing the whole semester. Then, I actually put my real thoughts and reflections down on paper. There was something gratifying about putting effort and doing something beyond what was necessary, because to be honest, I have been putting forth the most minimal effort possible for a long time now.

I have also been practicing writing the alphabet with my left hand, and i'm definitely becoming more proficient. I know its a useless skill but I think i am just trying to see whether i can actually accomplish a goal which takes slow and steady determination and chipping away rather than sudden bursts followed by long lulls.

Lastly, I have been thinking about a lot of the relationships that I've formed at Columbia as the days dwindle down. I know that a lot of relationships are transient, even those that have grown over years of spending time together, but all friendships are meant to be tested at some point i suppose.

I really like the picture below for some reason

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v257/100/32/824800/n824800_40241787_2033.jpg